


Santa of Asgard

by Basched



Series: Thundershield Advent [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dirty Thoughts, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Santa!Thor, Steve suggests the wrong thing?, Thor does a good deed, Urination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 16:56:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5383190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basched/pseuds/Basched
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers are more than surprised to see what Thor is wearing when he returns to the complex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Santa of Asgard

**Author's Note:**

> Written for tumblr's Thundershield Advent. Also a part of my new series that I'm putting up just in case I get any more little ideas before the end of the month and if I do more for the years ahead. 
> 
> To be read after The Whole Mistletoe Thing if you want. 
> 
> Not beta'd. Do enjoy though. 
> 
> \---------

Thor had been out for over six hours and frankly Steve was starting to get concerned. They all were. 

Thor had gone to get some food supplies for the feast he was going to cook. Everyone agreed that his cooking was the best, so he offered to put together some Asgardian dishes, but he was taking far too long and they were getting hungry. 

Steve was all set to go and search for him. All the Avengers were about to go out when someone set down on the landing pad, usually reserved for the quinjet. 

No one could believe their eyes when the large six foot four figure, dressed in red, came waddling through the door that made it impossible to keep a straight face. 

“Forgive my tardiness, everyone, but I had a most unusual request made of me.” 

“Behold! It's Santa of Asgard!” Clint quipped. 

Thor laughed with everyone at that comment. He knew how ridiculous he looked, so he didn't object, but he certainly expected more jokes about it. He rubbed his hand absentmindedly over the large padding of his belly which reduced Tony, Clint and Sam to snickering hysterics. Thor then slumped down on one of the sofas next to Steve, who was also smothering his grin with his hand. 

“Mock me all you wish... you are well within your rights to do so. I would surely do the same if it were one of you in my place." 

"Thor, what happened?" asked Steve. "How did you become Santa of Asgard? 

"As soon as I walked into the mall, the manager and several suited gentlemen approached me, mistakenly thinking I was someone called Chad.” 

Tony, Clint and Sam were in even more hysterics when Bruce snorted in mid-sip of his drink, the liquid spewing from his mouth and nose. 

“Chad?!” Bruce spluttered, grateful as Natasha handed him a napkin.

“He doesn’t look like a Chad.” Sam said. Thor nodded in agreement as well. 

“I tried to tell them I was the not this Chad they were looking for, but I couldn’t say who I really was either. However, they were adamant I was their man and proceeded to explain to me, as I was ushered towards this ‘grotto’, that their ‘Santa’ was off sick. I was to take his place.” Thor sighed. “I was dubious to take on the role of this commercial deity, but I saw so many children standing and waiting, all who were expecting to see this Santa. I could not let them down, so I donned the attire and fulfilled the role as best I could.” 

“That's really nice of you, Thor." Steve said. "But?” 

Thor sighed and took off the Santa hat, which left his usually immaculate hair all ruffled and tangled. Steve had to bite his tongue from mentioning it and restrained from even trying to tidy it up himself. 

“A few of the little ones were most disagreeable. Some dribbled upon me, which itself could not be helped considering their age, nor did I blame the little girl who had an unfortunate urination accident when she sat upon my knee.” Steve edged away but Thor pulled at the baggy material of his Santa pants to show him it was okay. "They did permit me to change. It would have been most untoward to have asked the other children to sit on me with my leg still wet.”

“Guys… pack it in!” Natasha warned Tony, Clint and Sam, and thankfully they managed to gain some semblance of control on their laughter. Though it hadn’t gone unnoticed that she was just as amused as they were. 

“Some of the children were clearly spoilt and were not only rude and demanding but they tried to assault me. When I declined to give presents to those who screamed obscenities at me and had tantrums that nearly pierced my eardrums, their parents and the manager of the establishment scolded me and said my attitude was not in the Christmas spirit.” 

It was not fair on Thor who had to endure all that and Steve did feel sorry for him. He tried to be supportive by patting him on his shoulder, but seeing such a magnificent and beautiful man, a warrior of immense power, wearing a Santa suit... was funny. Obviously no one had forewarned Thor about the duties and role of playing a shopping mall Santa. Then again, no one expected that a Norse God and an Asgardian prince would ever do it. 

“However, I must say that the majority of the little ones were an absolute delight.” Thor said, beaming happily and rubbing his padded belly again. "They were a credit to your race!" 

“You would do it again?” Natasha asked, taking out her phone. Seeing a photo opportunity, Thor put the hat back on and wrapped an arm around Steve, his wide grin still visible beneath the big fake white beard on his face. 

The smile faded the instant Natasha had taken all the pictures. 

“I would prefer to be myself. This suit is making me all sweaty and it's not extremely comfortable either.” 

“Of course.” Natasha smirked, sneakily taking another picture of Thor and Steve. “You’ve had a busy day. Are you sure you’re still up for cooking this feast of yours?” 

A look of shock and embarrassment overcame Thor’s face when he realised he had returned without the supplies he intended to get. When it dawned on the chuckleheads as well, there was a reluctant sigh from the four men. 

“Okay guys… let’s go and get what Thor needs.” Tony gave Bruce and Sam gentle slaps to their shoulders to get them moving. “You got a list?” 

Thor nodded and rummaged around in one of the large pockets on his suit. He pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Tony. Stark smiled and then waved to usher the others to the quinjet.

“You not coming with us, Cap?” asked Natasha when the others filed out of the room. 

“You need me to?” 

A smirk graced Natasha’s face and she shook her head.

“No it’s okay. I’m sure we don’t need all the Avengers to get a few groceries.” She took one last picture of Thor and casually strode out, leaving the two of them alone. "Behave boys! We'll be back shortly!"

Steve sighed and rose up to his feet. He looked at Thor. It was adorable look, in a certain way, and he wished he’d seen how Thor had been with the children. Thor was great with kids, he knew as an Avenger, a role model, it was important to be a figure they look up to and admire. Steve also wished he'd seen how Thor handled the parents of the spoiled kids, and the manager of the mall. Thor had done a great thing, even though he didn't have to. He endured a lot. 

Steve went to go and grab some coffee from the kitchen for both of them, but Thor's gloved hand snatched up his own and pulled him down into his lap. Thor's strong arm snaked around his waist and he was pulled up against the wad of padding covering Thor's already bulked torso. 

“Have you been good, Steve?” 

Steve let out a burst of laughter that even caught him by surprise. “Thor… what?!” 

“The others are gone. What say we adjourn to my quarters and have sex before they get back?” 

Steve had to chuckle at that. Ever since their first kiss underneath the mistletoe a few days ago, things had progressed very quickly and extremely amorously between them, not that either of them complained. It was something wonderful and Steve was so thankful he had made the first move. They hadn’t been open about this new relationship to the others but Steve was pretty sure everyone else knew. 

“Yeah… sounds like an idea, but the Santa suit really, and I mean _really_ , isn’t sexy.” 

“I can take it off.” 

Steve nodded. “Yes! Do!” 

“Have you been good?” Thor squeezed him which made Steve groan. 

“Have I been good? Thor, I’m not one of those kids… I’m not about to have tantrum or insult you. I'm not going to try to beat you up. I’m sure as hell not going to piss on you either.” 

Thor roared a dirty laugh, his whole body rumbled and he squeezed Steve again, this time a little harder. 

“You have full control of your bladder... I'm sure!" Thor winked at Steve suggestively, but he already knew he'd said the wrong thing. 

"I do... but _that_ stuff is... we're not there yet." The 'yet' made one of Thor's eyebrow rise and a very dirty grin curled his lips. "Thor... don't get any ideas. Okay?" 

"You didn’t answer my question. Have you been good?” 

“Just take the suit off, Thor. Then I'll be as good or bad as you want me to be.” 

Thor liked the sound of that and very eagerly got up, letting Steve slip off his lap. 

He then proceeded to slowly strip off the Santa costume, but when those boxers slipped down around his ankles, when he stepped out of them and pressed himself up against Steve, he was pushed away. 

“Jeez, Thor! Take the false beard off too, will ya?!” 

Thor did as he was told and was immediately given a deep but quick kiss before being dragged off in the direction of the living quarters.


End file.
